andamu

Clothes are not high on my precious one's priority list. I would have to wear something spectacularly loud for him to notice and say something without prompting. With prompting, I mostly get "Yes, it's nice." The same general attitude persists with regard to his own wardrobe. He pays no attention to matching colors, occasion, or raggedness.
Which is why it is strange that he has such definite views on clothes - the same clothes about which he has no views. Contradiction? Of course. Welcome to my world!

• Shirts only come in two colors, white and blue. Sky blue that is. All the movie heroes and all the Americans wore it, at the time that he grew up in India. (Corollary: Walls only come in two colors, white and cream.)
• The best shirt is made of a pale blue oxford cloth.
• Shirts should mostly be worn untucked. However, only "hawaii shirts" can be untucked - meaning ones that are straight around the bottom. Shirts with tails shall never be untucked.
• Shirts should have buttons. All the way down. Golf shirts are not shirts. Shirts should have pockets.
• Never appear in a formal setting or with elders with more than two shirt buttons undone.
• Undershirts (which is where all t-shirts are categorized) should be v-necked, never crew necked.
• Only goondas (crooks, racketeers) wear leather jackets.
• Once a jacket has been put on, it should be kept on while away from the house, even if the temperature soars, the rain dries up and the wind dies down, otherwise it will be lost.
• Socks should only be worn inside shoes, never alone. Since we never wear shoes inside the house, it means that he has frozen toes throughout the winter.
• Closed shoes should only be worn for interviews, teaching (he's a professor), formal occasions and when there is more than an inch of water or snow on the road. Temperatures below freezing without snow do not qualify.
• Longjohns shall never be worn. Nor boxers.
• Pyjamas shall not be made of flannel, and the tops shall have buttons all the way down. And dressing gown - what's that?
• Whatever was spent on any article of clothing for him was too much, and said article is completely unnecessary.

Guess who's NOT getting any clothing this holiday period...